Watashi wa totemo osagashii desu.

Gee, I hope that's right because I think I snarled it at everyone who walked into or called my office today. At one point, some of my officemates summoned me to the kitchen for birthday cake. I had to breathe deeply, remember my manners and go speak some pleasant words of appreciation before wishing (that they would all turn into crickets) and blowing out my candles. Now, it wasn't really all that bad. I was pleasantly surprised by the cake and I do enjoy being the center of attention. But I was so ridiculously busy today. Someone has leaked the secret that I am a "go-to" person. The notoriety is nice, but the workload is becoming a bit overwhelming. Working last Saturday was really brilliant on my part. With no phones ringling* or well-meaning visitors, I was able to accomplish several days' worth of work and get a head start on this week. I suppose I could explain what I do for a living so you don't think I playtest video games and that I should be tarred and feathered for fussing about my job.

I am a spy.

That would be SO cool if it was true. Actually, I work for the US Army, but they don't let me shoot guns or blow things up. Rather selfish of them, I think. Instead, I have an arsenal of e-mail addresses and phone numbers that I use to fight the common enemy of strictly formatted reports and documents, and the occasional errant news story. My office handles resident disputes in the housing areas on our installation, along with a variety of other "quality of life" concerns for Soldiers and their Families. (Mmmm. That capitalization is a direct by-product of Army standards. Bear with me. It took a long time to stop writing "neighbour" and "armour," habits I picked up to impress my British-born boyfriend many years ago. An affectation much like Midge's horrid accent that she used to sway the dapper Mr. Ritchie way back when.)

Working for the Army is weird for me. I have been a peace-sign-toting-hippie-type for most of my life and now I work for The MAN. I tell myself that I'm deep undercover. The truth is, I absolutely love what I do. The structure, the rank, the levels of respect and courtesy, all appeal to me way down deep inside my tiny stone of a heart. And I suppose some of those things are why Japan and the Japanese people appeal to me so much, as well. I'd give you a full psychoanalysis, but that would be boring and take away from the fun of just listening to me ramble incoherently.

One of the most entertaining parts of my job is working with our local Public Affairs Office. I get to write for the newspaper and develop story and feature ideas for our television station. Public Relations really is my calling, second only to Sitting in Front of the Computer All Day, but no one is issuing any type of certification in that yet. One can only hope.

*"ringling" was a typographical error, but I like the circus allusion, so it stays!